An odd coexistence this is …
Symbiotic?... Parasitic..? ..maybe both…
The instinct to break free is ever present
…a stubborn little light that refuses to go out ..
Everyday I crawl out a little further ..
careful ..furtive .. inching forward… For the most part the monster stays quiet
.. as long as I let him believe he’s won and I am his .. maybe not in
entirety.. not anymore … For I shall carry his poison in me forever .. so he
lets me be … Even loosens his grip from time to time … Letting me stretch but
keeping me beyond my perception of freedom.
It’s been quiet for a long while now …long
enough to lull me into a sense of complacency… Fooling me into thinking maybe
…just maybe I’m almost out… Maybe he’s tired of me.. maybe he’s taken all he
can …and I can be set aside for newer tastier prey…
I don’t trust it…the silence…it makes me
uneasy … But…maybe…this time..? I can walk away..? I turn and shine my light on him.. ever so
slightly ..poke him a little .. watching… nothing.. so I start to move away…
Holding my breath…waiting to exhale.. that’s when he strikes … always when I’m
at the edge…digging into me as a reminder of what my reality is… tightening his
grip till my breath chokes
There you are monster … I knew it wasn’t
over yet… , he retreats satisfied of my compliance and I am left alone ,
breathing again…I feel his poison wash through
me , almost comforting in its
familiarity … Darkness comes and I fall asleep , dreaming of another day …
another inch …
